Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Times and Meanings

Why is Chelsea becoming all secretive and mysterious? Only because I feel I have to.

When Todd left 43 days ago without saying goodbye, without hugging the children, he vanished. POOF! Gone 100% not in our lives accept for the heaping pile of crap he left at the front door, which was a daily reminder of how I felt; wearing a snowsuit, toque and steel boots treading water in shark infested territory...

I will not let his manipulation of some of the people I used to hold dear, people I thought were friends and loved ones. I know the truth and I will keep treading, I know the truth will come out and when the universe, karma, Heavenly Father and the grand ole justice system hand it to him on a platter I will smile.

I am not the vindictive type, but one can only handle lies for so long, financial control to a whole new level and the ability to be one person behind closed doors. I don't have much time in all honesty to wallow in my own pity, I am too busy trying to console my children, listening to them cry, making worry boxes, using worry boxes with them and feeling awful for not having any answers.

Of all the awful things he has done in the past 40 odd days some blessings have come out of it... My children have been referred to art therapy, I have been referred to therapy at no cost, I am no longer in his control and living at his will. I feel like I am coming back and that feels good.

As for the privacy of my blog, he is very hurtful, passive aggressive and narcissistic (in my humble opinion) and I don't feel safe with him knowing any of my comings and goings.

As for the awesome pics Darcy was going to take, a few of the kids began to sob when they found out we were having family pics and he was no longer here, so I have postponed them until they are more healed. I do not have the capability to ignore the hurt and pain that he has caused my children, Ill get over what he has done and is doing to me, but my kids are not doing so well. It breaks my heart that they are going through this because I married him, I married someone who is not the man he presented as.

As for me and the kids we will keep smiling, making snow globes and laughing that our female cat is actually a male!

oh and I failed as the tooth fairy last night, however I recovered with 'she had to fly from China and was worried she would not get here till 6 am and didn't want you to see her, so she entrusted me to leave the toonies and....... I fell asleep and forgot.......'

Enter tears and mum how could you's? so after some alone time Ty decided my love based fib made sense and he would forgive both she and I if we rectified it while he was at school. Which means I need to retrieve a letter from the tooth fairy, candy and something dinosaurish.


Unknown said...

I am so sorry that he hurt you and your family so much. You're a wonderful person and your kids will heal in time because they have you to love them through this terribly tough time. I'll be praying for you guys!

Lisa S. Luckey said...

Oh that is so sad he did that to you and the kids. Please know you're in my prayers, that you and the kids will heal through this with as little pain as possible.