Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Friday, August 26, 2011

Grades are in...

My grades came in and I am happy to announce I received 6 A's!!!! WOOHOOO I also contacted my instructors and told them about my journey to Edmonton and they have kindly excused me from the first week of this semester with no penalties! Things are looking up and my stomach is in knots but with one more semester down and just 2 to go I am feeling quite relieved! I would also like to thank my Government for giving me a cash scholarship for my grades!!! Gotta love Canadians EH.... I will post from Edmonton as I seem to be on a posting frenzy a nd that way Todd can stay updated on my adventures!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

I love all of your kind words :) they make me happy! and appreciative. My birth father called me and booked me a flight on the 27th! I am throwing school to the wind for three days, leaving my nuggets for the longest period of time since... ever! and I am going with an open mind and bruised heart. I shall return stronger and post of my journey. Thank you again for your lovely sentiments and thoughts!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Moon Controls The Tides and I Control....

My Destiny & Happiness...

For the past 7 1/2 yrs I have thought daily about why my birth father would fly here to Nanaimo spend the day with Kimme and I and then never speak to us again... :( I sent pics when Ty was born(he came while I was pregnant), and nothing... before this visit it had been 6 years since we had seen or spoke.

It saddens me, it breaks my heart and I am in a place in my life where I need to heal. I am not expecting answers or justifications, I just want to know if he loves me. I have never acted on trying to connect with him becasue I have a Father, a Dad, a man that loves me no matter what a man that was releived when he heard kidney stones came from my mums side of the familyand that his genetics had not contributed to mine! He has completely forgotten I didnt genetically come from him :)

I called my parents and expressed my need to connect with Jeff and my need for either closure or a new type of relationship. To my surprise they were happy:) I didn't want to hurt either of them by contacting Jeff.

Yesterday Ty turned 7! (blog post to come) and exactly 5 years ago yesterday I held Ty a Cars b-day party and moments later heard a knock on the door and was served with papers stamped with the date of Ty's birth stating I was crazy and moments later my kids were gone and it was a full 2 weeks before I saw my babies.... and that began the court custody heartache that all worked out in the end. But it was a chapter of my life that still causes me pain and heartache. With the emotions of Ty turning 7, what happened when he turned 2 and my desire to connect with Jeff, I googled until I found an auntie of mine whom I havent spoken to since I was 13! It was great to talk, she then gave me my uncles number and he gave me my birth dad's number. ...

I called and left a message that went something like this

Its Chelsea your daughter, theres not a day that goes by that I dont think of you, I dont know if you love me and I dont know why, why everything turned out the way it did. It's my sons birthday today and I am an emotional basket case and I hope you call and we can get together soon. Chelsea


and now I wait

But while I wait I can sip diet pepsi with my Dad and lounge in the sun! I can smile when he calls to check up on me, I can get as many hugs as I need. I know that regardless of what happens from my phone call that I have had a father since I was 7 who loves every part of me, the good, the bad and the really ugly:) I have a father who loves my children more than me :)

I am also blessed to have Todd a father to our children and the most amazing example to them and me:) Love you Todd

On a side note the reason for my 7 breakdown.....

1. My dad became my dad when I was 7.

2. My birth father has not contacted me in 7 yrs.

3. My oldest son turned 7 yesterday.

4. The painful memories of Ty's 2nd b-day still pull at my heart strings.

5. My exhusband is in town this week and although I am blessed and happy with my life, the negative memories come up and I cry.

6. 7 is my favourite number, it is also the amount of days after Rylie was born that my grandpa passed away :(

7. I am starting the journey of therapy to clear, calm and heal my soul from the inside out...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

oh dear....

2 essays
5 assignments
10 additional participation posts
1 medical surgical exam (insert tears)
2 birthdays
kidney stones (yes i have kidney stones and I am in agony :()
todd working all week and unable to help with kidlets
4 kids, laundry, cooking and all that good stuff

that is this week! and if i survive which physically i know i will but mentally i may snap, yet again !
A big thanks to my mum for taking all the kids last night so i could take my pain pills and pass kidney stones LOL and a BIG thanks to Uncle Chris who slept with all my kids in a tent and for always being a father figure to my kids expecially when they didnt have one in their life! Thank you Chris

Monday, August 8, 2011

Thank You Kimme :)

My kind and generous sis Kimme offered to take all four of my hoodlums overnight for a tent sleepover! As a result Todd and I were able to...

Play footsies at Earls! and laugh about how I was being a dork trying to take pics of the food, we settled on a foot picture.

We then strolled down Swylana and ate ice cream while watching the seals in the harbour

Todd thinks I've shrunk and I have no research based evidence to dispute that fact!

Love this guy and my new Colonel Mustard cartigan

This is how excited the girls were to go to Auntie Kimme's! oh and Olivia cut all her hair off!!! It is just hair and I vamped up her attempt and now she is sporting a Rhianna/Pixie Cut mix!

Rylie loves her feather extensions and obviously they both love their 'kinies'!

The kids practiced sleeping in Todd and I's massive sleeping bag in preparation for Kimmes!

Thanks Kimme I love you

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Rambling and Insight From a Fresh 29 yr old

Insight #1...I turned 29 yesterday and attempted to capture my biggest accomplishments, this was the best shot!

Rylie and I

Olivia's sweet new hair do! (Jessica, I thought of you when this pic turned out sweet, not as good as your photos, but i'm trying :) ) Insight #2 hair is just hair and barrettes and sweet little girls do not need long locks to be scrumptious!

Todd took the family to the waterfront for a birthday lunch for moi. Insight #3 Always listen to your children and let them voice their worries for they shall smile more and confide often.

Insight #4 Ty and Olivia now look like twins :)

Todd and Rylie are an example of epic awesomeness! Insight #5 Goofing off and taking deep breaths and not stressing is worth it for your sanity.

Coloring at a restaurant watching the sea planes land and the dragon boat racers practice is lovely. Insight #6 Crayons are awesome and should not be placed in a heater vent!

Pardon the excessive cleavage :) Insight #7 I have not yet embraced the idea of loving my body but I do realize it's importance! and shall keep trying.

Insight #8 I can and will learn to take sweet pictures. Below is an attempt at an artsy approach to a glass of water and my daughter!

Olivia is a beautiful and delicate as the orchid we sat next to. Insight #9 Even when your children look this angelic there is always a 99.9% chance of that cool glass of water spilling in an extreme way seconds later.

Insight #10 4 kids eating bubblegum icecream = a direct correlation to happiness, and happiness should always be in demand and supply.

Insight #11 Birthdays are grand and hubbies that make them possible are grand as well.

Insight #12 Just because its your birthday doesnt mean you dont have to cook dinner :) (Slow cooker taco soup) but it does mean your hubby has to make home made MnM ice
cream sandwiches!

#13- life is too short to exclude others

#14- education whether it be farming or architecture is of high importance

#15- self worth needs to be continually embraced and worked on

#16- cats are the best!

#17- money is great but back yard BBQ's are better

#18- heather remembering your bday should make you smile and grateful!!!

#19- holding little Lennox makes you want a baby even if your tubes are tied :)

#20- burning the midnight oil whether it be to rock a child back to sleep or write a research paper is part of life, sleep leaves your life early 20's and thats ok.

#21- ohhh 21 seems like yesterday when I had Ty, minus my crows feet!

#22- if feeling like the month you are currently surviving is too much book a trip to a Paelentology museum and go solo with four kids!

#23- that is how many loads of laundry I have to do if I dont do laundry for a week.

#24- how many assignments i have till the end of this semester

#25- letting your children run wild in the back yard is healthy

#26- letting Ty drink milk from the container because he thinks I dont know is funny

#27- Olivia shuving a bead up her nose and Todd and I performing a removal of said before it entered her nasal cavity was an epic way to end my bday!

#28- do unto others as you would have them do to you is easier written than accomplished

#29- I love my family The End