CONFESSIONS OF A HYPOCRITE

The hypocrite I am referring to is none other than me myself and I!!! You know how when I say I am going to grow out my hair and then 24 hours later I cut it while I seem to have done the same thing recently, just on a larger scale! No I'm not bald... I have met someone!!!! 5 weeks ago I mentioned that online dating was totally ridiculous and people who did it were desperate and it was just absolutely nonsense, so with that in mind I naturally went online! His name is Todd and he has already flown, driven and taken a ferry to see me for just 24 hours, this is a pretty big deal considering he lives in Pennsylvania. He is wonderful, kind, gentle sweet and handsome; and considering the last one had none of the above qualities mentioned I think I am doing pretty well. So I asked him if I could show my girlfriends his picture and he said 'yes' so here he is ladies...

Good looking!! I know, try not to be too jealous now, he is all mine!! And Todd if you are reading this;

5 X 5 + INFINITY

OOPS... MORE PICTURES

EVERY DAY FACES

CONCENTRATING

KISS FANS

MY LITTLE ANGELS

OLIVIA AND OLIVER

LIVIE-LOU

TOO CUTE

Fall Family Photos

FALL FAMILY PHOTOS

MY POLKA DOT PRINCESS

JUST A LITTLE HIGHER

RATATOUILLE

MUNCHKIN ONE AND TWO

MY PRINCESS

A TOTAL J CREW POSE

THE WHOLE FAMILY

MY OLIOLE

THE NEW ELMER FUDD

GORGEOUS GIRL

'F' WORDS

Feminine Hygiene

Farting and

Four Year Olds

What on earth could these three words have in common?- well actually 5 words in total- Here goes; this morning for some reason Ty and Rylie thought that 4:00am would be the perfect time to come to my room and demand panpakes aka pancakes! The ruckus in turn woke up the twins, so a very, very grumpy Chelsea headed on downstairs to make panpakes. After successfully burning the first batch I made a perfect second batch, Ty and Rylie each had one bite and then said in unison "actually we will just have bread with butter!!" So an even grumpier Chelsea began feeding the twins, Ty and Rylie headed upstairs and they became very quiet. Experience has taught me that however lovely the temporary relief and silence is, it is quickly followed by disaster!

I headed upstairs to find them playing space ships with my Feminine Hygiene products!

Ty: what is this

Mum: my personal things Ty

Ty: ya I know but what is it?

Mum: Ty when someone says something is personal, just leave it at that!

Ty: no I NEED to know, because I NEED to!!

Mum: they are my Feminine Hygiene things!

Ty: oh , ok

So then I get them dressed and head off to the voting polls for the Federal Election! I love voting and I was really excited to explain to the kids the whole process to them. So we arrive at the polls and I am behind the high tech card board box marking my candidate and the old lady behind me says to Ty, "how old are you sweety" Ty then responded with

" Oh I am 4 years old and I play with my mums Feminine Hygiene Stuff and now I am gunna Fart!!"

Jeepers Creepers, I thought I was gunna die, not to mention the other 30 people there, and to make it worse it was so quiet everyone heard, and if that wasn't bad enough, he FARTED!! It was so loud, and then Rylie chimed in with " Ty do you need to poop? that was a stinky toot, and sometimes stinky toots mean you need to poop!" Ty: "no thanks Rylie I am ok, it was just air!!"

Family Photos

My lovely photographer Darcy just emailed me a couple of the pictures she took on Monday!! So here is a sneak peak, I will share the rest with you when I get them.

The Five of us! I must admit we are looking pretty snazzy! Notice the brute strength I possess

Ty you have the most amazing hair little dude!! And Rylie you are too cute!

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Cougar Watch

So on Saturday night around 11:30pm I let my cat Lucifee in and headed up stairs to my boudoir-pardon the phrase, it just sounded saucier than bedroom- As I lay my head on my pillow I hear this screeching sound. It was a cross between an old woman screaming and metal being dragged on the pavement! I jumped up and went over to my window and... A COUGAR was looking up at me, he quickly bolted forward and moments later it's victim began crying! By the sound I am assuming it was a Bambi, it cried and cried. The old woman screech followed by bursts of Bambi crying lasted for 45 minutes! During this time I phoned the police- who transfered me to Conservation who told me they would be out in the morning! "The morning?" I said, I don't think you heard me or the deer correctly "there is a COUGAR in my front yard"!!. He then went on to tell me that it was very promising he went for the deer not the children, because it meant he wasn't starving! It is now Monday and Conservation has yet to come to my house to retrieve the carcass or do anything other than cheer lead the COUGAR! My mum phoned the newspaper this afternoon and miraculously the conservation officer will be coming to my house tonight. For the record I have respect and appreciation for wild animals however at this time in my life with 4 small prey living under my roof I am not that into cohabiting with them. I wish I could have gotten a picture of him, but as usual I always think of photos after the fact.