Foreshadowing of One's Worth as a Mother

So I have been struggling with being able to 'do it all ' or the elusion that I have to ' do it all '. I preach that I love grass not asterturf, the fact that a couple(dozen) loads of unfolded laundry means I took my kids to the petting zoo, that token cookie cutter play group moms are not my style. Yet I feel like I am constantly under the dirt and not on top. I know I need to take my own advice and just chill, but sometimes like today, that is way easier blogged than accomplished.

Subject Switch

I have had the urge to write about a certain situation for sometime now....

Preview: I have always believed that if you put something out there-the universe- the universe will listen and then deliver. I have recently started to believe that when things are viualised, spoken of and written down they too will become reality.

Here goes.... A long long time ago(4 years) I was accused by my ex husband as being unfit and unable to care for my children I was served papers on my eldest sons 2nd birthday directly after his lightning mcqueen party. He took my children and I fought hard.

In BC when someone makes an accusation against you it is then up to you the accused to prove otherwise. I then spent the next 8 months of my existence proving I was and always had been a good mother. So where does one go when trying to prove their sanity?.... A Psychiatrist you say, well you are right, plus you need to be supervised by professionals who make a decision on you are a mother.

A couple weeks ago I was looking for Rylies birth certificate to register her for Kindergarden and I came across a paper from -none other than- Dr. Molineaux my Psychiatrist. This was his final report ,to the Judge. This is what the last few sentences said, keep in mind it was dated 4 years ago,

"Chelsea is a devoted mother who adores her children. She has shown over the past 8 months that her children are her priority and have always been. I aksed Chelsea where she sees herself in 5-10 years and she responded ' I see myself as a Psychiatric Nurse, and just being happy and enjoying my kids'. Chelsea is a mentally and physically healthy person who was wrongly accused."

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So where am I then 5 years from now?

enjoying my kids, trying not to loose my temper, loving my husband, trying to keep things in perspective, still snorting when I laugh, not liking my hips, butt and stomach oh and my arms, in school to beocme a psychiatric nurse, in awe that I have been blessed with such awesome kids.