LAWYERS LARYNGITIS AND OTHER SUCH THINGS

Yes that's right somehow I have managed to have a whopper of a week without even visiting Burger King! Here's how it went down; last week while Ty was at preschool catching a bacterial eye infection I was at Legal Aid trying to catch a lawyer, so when we me up later that afternoon for a juice box and fruit snacks I discovered the oozing eye and took him to the Dr.
This particular visit to the Dr.'s was funny because it was not our family Dr. and when I walked into the office with four kids I noticed his expression go from -what can I help you with- to -Holy#@!*- I proceeded to sit down, try to extinguish a temper tantrum, kindly explain to Ty that it wouldn't hurt and feed the twins. Well by now he was sweating profusely and he said " I need to excuse myself for a moment I am becoming increasingly anxious watching you with all those kids!!!" So he excused himself, came back in, gave us the prescription and we were off! Within 4 hours Rylie and myself were also sporting oozing eyes.
Awesome I tell myself, as I am telling myself this I realize it hurts to swallow and when I bend over my ears feel as if they will explode. So now I have managed to go to Legal Aid, be a part of the ever growing oozie eye club and participate in the sinus head explosion game! Wow what a day don't ya say? later that night as I wallow in my temporary unhappiness I decide to join the kids for a bowl of mac and cheese. I sit down and SNAP! That's right I broke my flipping dining room chair, so now I lay on the floor with mac and cheese all over me not knowing whether to cry or laugh, quickly deciding that crying would be the better of the two. Ty says "mum, jumpin junebugs what did you do?" I tried to say "I'm fat" but with the whole laryngitis issue it came out very Romanian, confusing the kids even more. They hopped off their chairs, came over to me and at the same time said " we will not tolerate you spilling your noodles, now pick them up". Obviously my pity party was over and there was going to be absolutely no empathy, so I pulled myself together, realized the whole thing was pretty funny, started laughing and picked up my intolerable noodles. Now without getting into too much detail each following day had pretty much the same pattern, a couple disasters followed by Kraft dinner and some laughing, so all in all our nutrition has sucked, but we do have three intact dining room chairs left and our sense of humors.

Fight for Night

As I lay in my claw foot tub engulfed with almond milk, I am debating whether to exfoliate my legs or minimize my pores... I unwrap a highly advertised Bliss chocolate and have a realization; People for centuries now have been complaining that there just arn't enough hours in the day, how can one possibly get everything done?, I just wish there were more workable hours! Are these people out of their cotton-pickin minds? or is it just me? Now that was a bit harsh, maybe these individuals had severe heat stroke and were seriously confused, because it seems very obvious to me that there are not enough hours in the NIGHT! Yes that is right we need to stand together and FIGHT FOR NIGHT! I would be completely satisfied actually delighted, if we were to shorten the day to 5 or 6 hours and sleep the rest away. Not only would this cut down the number of temper tantrums, it would enhance beauty, eliminate stress totally eliminate overeating! Not to mention cut down on pollution...MOM TY HIT ME!... My daydreaming was once again cut short by Oliver spitting up on me in a somewhat waterfall fashion. I must have confused spit up for almond milk and hence the elaborate daydream took off. However I do feel I am on to something.

Weirdly

To say this morning has been a tad chaotic would be a catastrophic understatement! At my last attempt to out the twins down for a morning nap I overheard Ty singing I am a Child of God to Oliver. The song was going along according to plan when instead of "has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear" I heard "has given me a weirdly mother who is weird and kind and dear!!!" Well for all those who know me he pinned the tail on the donkeys behind with such precision. Given that this is not the first time I have been called weird I decided that I should look up the official definition of weird:
(wîrd)
adj. weird·er, weird·est
1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.
2. Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.
3. Archaic Of or relating to fate or the Fates.
n.
1.
a. Fate; destiny.
b. One's assigned lot or fortune, especially when evil.
2. often Weird Greek & Roman Mythology One of the Fates.
tr. & intr.v. weird·ed, weird·ing, weirds
Slang To experience or cause to experience an odd, unusual, and sometimes uneasy sensation. Often used with out.

I would like to point out that I am supernatural! I also would like to draw your attention to the word strikingly! Instead of strikinglly odd or unusual I would like to substitute gorgeous! ANd given the fact that I am supernatural I can do that. POW!! I would also like to use my supernatural powers to send my children to Jupiter today! I will let you know how that goes, I am assuming not so well but you never know.