Aliens, The Mothership and Low Self Esteem

Today I realized I can handle the patient who has literally just gotten off the mother ship and feels i am an evil alien than the young boy who has no self esteem. It really effected me, he was young, too young to hate himself, not that we should hate our selves at any age but he was much too young. It really drove home the point of self esteem and me wanting my children to not only have healthy self esteem but for them to be kind to others. The effects of bullying are devastating and to see them present in this young man was heart breaking, especially since he truly feels he is not worth even the conversation that I had with him, he kept appologizing for taking up my time, not matter how much I told him he was worth even more time than I had to give him he simply just didnt see it. I feel the importance of having self esteem and treating other kindly and selflessly go hand in hand.
The mother ship sorted itself out and in the end I was still the bad alien and for some strange reason I can digest those moments more than seeing something that could have been preventable. I always see my patietns as my children and it breaks my hearts their family members arnt there to support them(which happens more than not), it hurts to hear what happened to them as children and at the end of the day I couldnt imagine doing anything else as a career even though at times the stories make me want to vomit literally. I am greatful I have the opportunity to help people who need it, to work with people who have taught me more than I could ever teach them and to teach my children the importance of mental health- which by the way is something we all posess, and 1in 4 of us will have or be directly affected by mental illness in our lifetime! I am working with some union representives to start educating in the schools about mental health and mental illness and I am really excited to see where this goes! Education is key and since I am on a soap box these issues and dilemmas need to be taught to our children so they are not ignorant to the realities of mental illness, so they use compassion instead of judgments and so that we can try and stop the hurt.

A little bit of love for purple orchids

When I began nursing I was sure I would not enjoy the geriatric psych rotation as much as the others but.... the more I took care of those wonderful people the more I realized they were just like little children, the main difference being a body that was no longer cooperating and a mind that was too tired to function.

They require the same TLC, body care and attention as little children, their attention spans are that of little children( not much at all :) ), they require redirection, and plus plus prompting, smiles and activities. The psych component makes them all the more interesting and multi dimensional.

Still coming off of my mothers day emotional roller coaster :) I started my new job at the IPU and I had the pleasure of caring for a woman who seemed to not 'be there' anymore, her speech was disorganized, she spoke mainly in German and her body was frail, she was confused and did not recognize anyone , even me after a few minutes and required 1 to 1 care, it broke my heart. But when she looked at her tiny little flower pot she would cry and whisper like she was talking to a little baby, for whatever reason that purple orchid reminded her of someone or something, she would stroke the leaves and place is so carefully by the window and she would cry as she told it how much she loved 'the little baby'. Even in a time and place where are minds cannot function in a recognizable way, we don't know what day it is or even who we are, there is always something or someone that can trigger emotion and memories. I have seen it in patients who supposedly have no ability to remember or recognize, in patients that are about to die, in patients that are so encompassed by their mental illness and so on.

I need these small reminders that there is hope even in the darkest of moments, that even purple orchids can make someone who "cant remember", remember.

The hardest part of becoming a psychiatric nurse is that I cannot cure and save people, there is no magic wand that can take their afflictions away. I don't think I will ever understand why people have to suffer so much, it truly breaks my heart, to see people overcome by hallucinations, delusions and panic. I ask why? a lot...

What I am grateful for is the opportunity to learn and grow while caring for psychiatric patients, it is truly tiring and rewarding all wrapped into a big bow!

I don't understand why when people break their legs we give sympathy and support in the form of crutches and cookies and when people have schizophrenia, major depression or suicidal ideation we judge, scoff and call them "crazy'' ? You cant snap out of schizophrenia just as much as you cant snap your broken bone back in and miraculously recover. I guess I am just on a mental health rant because one of the major hurdles for psychiatric patients is stigma and it is something that we can all stop.