Insomnia

My late night adventures consist of me trying to convince myself to fall asleep..... Not working so I will type my blessings ....
Family, support, friends, smiles, my ability to still laugh and snort, Ty's baptism, Rylie going from regular school to learn at home.... She needs to heal and I feel good and peaceful about this decision, twins starting preschool, my new job!!!! My mum and dad for their unconditional support, therapists and the power of psychology, herbs, omegas and homeopathic tablets, my cats, my home, my cars, my colleagues.....

I have so many blessings which make these past 6 months more livable and bearable, the pain has not lessened it has actually worsened..... However with my blessings and bull-vine stubborn determination I get up try, beg plead laugh work clean and thank those that make my achievements possible.

To my kids.... I love u one day we will look back and say we did it !!! We didn't let him win, we are survivors not victims! We have each other kids and that will never change I love u!!!!

When the clock strikes 12 I'm not a pumpkin

In the past yr I've gone on adventures. I've looked at lots of shoes... I have made lasting friendships.... Received birthday gifts.... Watched my kids wave goodbye as I go to work.... Bought and worn a swimsuit.... Watched my kids get closer to their dad.... Passed the National Nursing Exam.... Developed a wonderful relationship with my birth dad..... Cried over the loss of my granny...Celebrated Easter..... Kissed my kids on valentines day....

There has been a lot of literal blood.... Sweat and tears, I would not have my smile without my parents unconditional support and help. I feel blessed overwhelmed and excited. My kids are healing I'm trying to heal and those that support me are lifting me up. The emails, calls, texts, FB messages and hugs keep me going. There have been days I think I can't. But my dad says Chels look at how far you've come 12 months ago you thought you would have to drop out of school and here I am graduated wearing swim suits!!!

Happy Birthday/Hatch Day! You are worth it!! Love me

Edit

Ignore previous spelling mistakes I'm on my I phone and sleep deprived

Sometimes

Sometimes I make spelling mysteaks when I blog lol ! But in reality I make life mistakes and I learn from them. I have learned that love is not a word or a marriage certificate,,,, I Ann realizing . Despair is not a divorce certificate it is a reality. For me anyway. Survival is my guide and love governs my motives. So in reality I love and survive and that is where I am. Good nohht.

Nigel!! Is a she!!!

We love birds I love birds!!! Seeing birds from South America with no feathers made me cry, they deserve to be flying in their own rainforest not ours! I took the time to teach my children that loving animals means loving that they are in their own home.... They offered to pay half their allowance to support theses beauties well into their 80's! I am proud of my kids for seeing the importance of animals and even more the importance of standing up against bad people who take then away from their families!

Nancy!!!!!!!

I have thought a lot about what support means..... It means dropping off four slurpees not expecting in return. It means telling on me to my mum saying Chelsea is breaking..... It means coming over and cooking tacos! It means saying get to the beach for a play date I love u!! Misses nancy I would b here without u but at this point I would not have a smile.....you are my bestie you answer my crazed texts u smile we laugh we have matching undies! We both. Seriously think North is in front of us we have unnatural red hair and we love it! We love big macs and could care less about about how Netflix makes us feel! I can call u anytime and I know u love my weirdness

8 mths

I have been through 8 months of purgatory my children have cried screamed laughed hugged and broken down.... I have begged pleaded and pored my heart n soul to soul one who would listen..... We are here riding our bikes we eat our veggies and brush our teeth, we floss and bathe and pray our routines help us make it to the next day. I work front lines mental health and addictions and as of today im breaking.... I get up work wonderful and love and engage in therapeutic relationships..... My family has been a beyond support and I would not be typing without their support. So here I am on a Thursday baking beets n zucchini yearning for simplicity. I want my kids to be free of the pain they are in.. Praying and begging they will i didn't know and I if I did I would have saved them. I didn't know I had no idea and for that I will cry and if I have to work 5 jobs to get them the help they deserve I will . They all came to me when people said I had too many.... They have brought me love and I will teach them how to have hope and how to define their future