Stolen Idenity

LOST: What I thought was my 'identity'

FOUND: A little piece of ME

I have gone back to work at a Salon and Spa here in town, and Todd is running the fort at home! I love being a hairdresser and esthetican and am so loving my "free" time. Since I ran my fort on my own for 4 years I knew giving up home control would not be easy for me however I was not prepared for Todd to be better at it! In one week he single handily eliminated bottles from the twins, reduced soothers to bedtime and got Ty eating more than just one food group! Olivia has started walking, blowing kisses and says doggy! When I come home and say " Livie say mumma", she responds with "no -dada" and reached for Todd!

So grateful am I that I have an amazing husband for myself and father for my children.
So jealous am I that he is a better at staying home than I was.
So sad am I that I didn't receive Livies's first kiss.
So happy am I that I get to express myself artistically all day and get paid for it.
So plagued am I by yet even more guilt to swallow.

As a mum I struggle with guilt. It is a daily issue for me, I am constantly replaying the days events, thinking about what could have been done better and contemplating why I lost it!- my mind that is- I know my current 'issue' is that I am loving doing hair and esthetics full time, I have regained a huge chunk of my self esteem. By getting dressed up everyday and making people feel better about theme selves has in turn made me feel better too. Through my 2 year grind at single motherhood I lost part of Chelsea, the part that made me 'tick' before I had kids-
I was very sure in my identity as Chelsea the single mother to four kids. Take away the four kids and the single mother title and I was no where to be found. I am finding her and loving it! Why then do I feel guilty? Partly because I thought as a mother I was irreplaceable and now due to Todd's superior qualities I am feeling very replaceable.

So as not to get sucked into my own guilt and pity I am deciding to throw my guilt surrounding work in the garbage and be thrilled that I have a husband willing and loving enough to stay home with the kids! I am also joining a gym tomorrow because working around over 60 mirrors all day is a great way to draw attention to the fact that I still have 40 lbs of my 100lb twin gain to loose!

I love you Todd

Emergency Rooms and Personal Hygeine

WARNING: Severe cabin fever and a grouchy mum live here

Oliver: Has Bronchialitis and a horrible staff infection on top of his eczema flair up and a very contagious eye infection.
Solution: Nebulizer with steroids every three hours.
Steroid cream applied to his whole body 3X a day.
Vaseline applied 5x a day- not @ the same time as steroids
Oral antihistamine before bed
Antibiotic eye ointment 3X a day- inserted into the eyelid!
Oral antibiotic 3X a day
Tylenol when needed

Olivia: Bronchialitis and a very contagious eye infection as well as a severe case of NOT sleeping through the night!
Solution: Nebulizer with steroids every three hours.
Antibiotic eye ointment 3X a day- inserted into the eyelid!
Tylenol when needed

Ty: A horrible chest cold and you guessed it- a very contagious eye infection.
Solution: Tylenol and decongestants when needed.
Antibiotic eye drops 3X a day.

Rylie: A horrible chest cold and a contagious eye infection.
Solution: Tylenol and decongestants when needed.
Antibiotic eye drops 3X a day.

Moi: Along with the contagious eye infection you can use your imagination as to my physical and mental state!

Todd: Safe in Pennsylvania.

So 5 days ago Oli and Livie were having trouble breathing so I rushed them to the ER. Where Oliver was diagnosed with Asthma and his breathing issues were attributed to that! Livie's Bronchialitis was escalating. Go home continue on with our routine and then yesterday Oli had three more episodes where he couldn't breath. So back to the hospital we went. 7 hours later they think he has Pertussis, they had to thread a catheter down his nose, and do chest X-Rays etc. So now we are waiting for the Pertussis results and in the meantime he has 2 more steroids he has to take to try and keep his airways open and we are off the the specialist today to get his puffer! While sitting in the waiting room I realized that there were a lot of people with less than lovely smelling odours coming from them, quickly realising in the past 5 days I have visited the ER more than I have showered! In fear I might be one of the not so nicely smelling people I ate a couple cinnamon hearts, in my deranged state this took care of any further worries.

How excited am I that Todd will be here permanently on Friday and I begin work on Saturday!! That's right Mr. Mom will be arriving and we will be doing a little role reversal until Todd's paperwork is through immigration. I am in need of a break and regular showers!!

Milkshake Pancakes

I know this is a few days late, but this recipe will count as my February recipe AKA already behind on my New Years Resolutions! So last night I decided to use up the nearly squishy bananas and make the kids a milkshake, it went over really well except I made a bucket load. So this morning I thought I could sneak them on the table with brightly colored straws and there would be no waste. However the bananas obviously went a little brown, thus causing sheer panic at the table. So I said fine, I will make pancakes. Lightbulb... use the milkshake as the 'wet' ingredients in the pancakes!

Milkshake
2 ripe bananas
1 cup sliced strawberries
4 Tbsp Flax Seed Oil
2 cups milk
1 cup pre&pro biotic yogurt
Dry Ingredients
2 cups wholewheat flour
4 Tsp baking powder
1/2 Tsp Salt
* 4 eggs *
Blend and VOILA , in a obviously separate bowl stir together dry ingredients and then add your eggs. If it is way too runny, add more flour! I don't know how accurate my measurements are because I never measure! It should be really thick and a little lumpy.

Cook, smother with butter and organic maple syrup from my motherland and Yummy! This makes a lot, I slice up the remaining pancakes into "sticks" with a pizza cutter and then freeze them. It makes about 8 emergency frozen breakfasts for when all you feel like doing is nothing.

I also didn't have time to snap a photo because by this time the kids were famished!